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Skylanders Spyro by Trololoartist7890

Writing by PhoenixFirewing


Submitted on
August 4, 2012
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1,003 (1 today)
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Its the roast of Spyro :D

Prism Break: Ladies and gentleman. Dragons and all. Welcome to The Roast of Spyro!!!

Everyone claps

Prism Break: Now introducing, the dragon of the hour, Spyro.

Spyro: Hey everyone.

Everyone: Spyro, Spyro, Spyro!!!

Prism Break: First up on this roast is Gill Grunt!

Gill Grunt stands on the podium

Gill Grunt: Spyro, you've been the dragon to everyone around you. Everybody loves you. Boys, girls, people crazy for bestiality.

Everyone laughs

Gill Grunt: Seriously man, why the Kaos do you look the way you do now? At first, you looked cool, then you looked almost human and now you're an ugly Barney the dinosaur love child.

Spyro: <laughs>

Gill Grunt: I wouldn't be surprised to see you in the next Maury show episode on who is the father. If I find out Barney really is your dad I would flip!

Everyone laughs

Gill Grunt: Awww who am I kidding, Spyro I love ya man!

Prism Break: Next up, Eruptor!

Eruptor: You know Spyro's first game pit him against Gnasty Gnorc. No girls to save, not getting laid, and saving horny old dragon men. Seriously Spyro WTF?

Everyone laughs

Eruptor: Gnasty Gnorc was one mean dude I gotta admit. But seriously, TWO hits?! It makes Cloud N' Candy a dominatrix compared to you!

Gnasty Gnorc: OMG he's so right! <laughs>

Eruptor: Spyro, you're everyones favorite dragon. You're my favorite dragon too!

Prism Break: Next its Cynder!

Cynder: Look, I know what everyone is saying. It must be great to have Spyro as a boyfriend right? Haha, WRONG!!! Spyro completely sucks in bed.

Everyone: Oooooh.

Cynder: I'll be so lucky if he was hard like Bash, long like Camo, horny like Zap, and dominant as Sunburn. They say purple is the most powerful and rare of the dragons but not where it counts.

Spyro: <gulp>

Cynder: Do you know how hard it is for Spyro to get it up? Why do you think I gotten breast implants?!

Everyone laughs

Cynder: Even though Drobot has a built in toy feature and I would definately go to bed with him, I still love you Spyro. <3 Can't wait til we get home sweetie~.

Spyro: <laughs>

Prism Break: Next up we have Boomer!

Boomer: Dude, I took a day off of trolling to come here! Spyro, why is it that every guy you fight has an inferiority complex? When are you gonna get a real villain to fight?

Everyone laughs

Boomer: I had high hopes for Malefor but, seriously, they've gotten Christen Bale to do his voice?! I couldn't understand a word he was saying!

Spyro: That's true. <laughs>

Boomer: Then theres Ripto. The "I hate dragons" guy! Why because they're bigger than you?

Ripto: ...

Boomer: I'm surprised the producers actually allowed you to be in 3 games. New powers, same agenda, same little hothead. C'mon, you're like the worst villain ever! The Sorcerous is more scarier than you and I think shes a joke. Thats right Ripto, you're the most worthless villain in Spyro history! Why else would you be in Enter The Dragonfly?!

Everyone except Ripto starts dying

Ripto: Thats it! I had it up to here with you!

Wrecking Ball shows up next to him

Wrecking Ball: Wow, not that high I see.

Everyon laughs

Ripto: Shut up you gluttunous pile of ****!

Everyone: BOOOO!!!

Ripto: We have the worlds first dragon whore of gaming, a lava golem with anorexia, a fish that sounds like $#!+, and a green Spongebob?! These are the so-called heroes of Skylands?! Spyro, you really disappoint me. You're relying on the help with these $#!+s. I rather play Bubsy than Skylands! In 3D!

Spyro: Guards...

Stump Smash and Ignitor grab him

Ripto: Get off me mother-!

Ripto is "escorted" out (He got thrown in the dumpster)

Spyro: Wow, sorry for that little outburst and I really mean "little".

Everyone laughs

Spyro: C'mon guys! These are the jokes you came up with! Gill Grunt, you should take that fish stick out your mouth. I really can't understand what you're saying. Boomer, the troll face called, he wants his face back. Eruptor, I like you but, someone should give you a muzzle. You keep drooling all ove the place. Cynder, oh Cynder, I'm grateful you gotten the breast implants but, I hate to break it to you. In bed, its like doing a pillow, you're silent, and un-emotional. Whirlwind is way better in bed than you and she's flat-chested!

Everyone laughs

Spyro: Haha, thank you all for coming. I hope you all enjoyed yourselves but remember who brought you all here, ME, Spyro the mother****ing dragon!!! PEACE OUT ****ers!!!

Everyone laughs and claps    
Its the roast of Spyro, enjoy the show.
Add a Comment:
678walleby Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
lol, Ripto.
darkdragon770 Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2012  Student General Artist
oh lol spyro and cynder complain about how bad the other is at getting laid
wolfgangcalifan Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks! :D
wolfgangcalifan Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Today is my bday: August 6. AND I GOT ZOOK!! AND AN IPAD!!
Darkmatter20 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday! :)
Ratch17 Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Lol'd at Cynder. And at what Spyro said back. XD
Ratch17 Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:above: That was supposed to be on the Skylanders Messed Up number 66.
Ratch17 Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Ignore the above comment. Sorry.....:(
wolfgangcalifan Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i got whirlwind spyro trigger happy flameslinger wrecking ball and Gill grunt
Darkmatter20 Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Congratulations. :)
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